I received a message from my Grandmother via my father

"I am going to report her to the Society For the Prevention of Cruelty to Books.

First - has her journal (an ancient breed) been registered? Wormed? taken to the book dosing strip?
Is she carrying a pooper scooper bag in case her journal leaves something on the footpath? HAS IT BEEN MICROCHIPPED?

I don't know, young people these days."

Dear Grandparental Unit

I'm not sure if journals need to be registered in Australia. I did a google search and came up with nothing.

You'll be pleased to know it arrived fully wormed:and the leaves it deposited on the footpath were scooped up immediately and carried home in my visual diary.

I'll chip it tonight. Do I need to fish it as well?

Cheers
Your eldest Grand Daughter.